If You Were On An Island

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In a recent conversation, I was asked, “Imagine, if you were alone on an island (and the only human being on the planet), do you think you would have a problem in life?”

I am curious about what you, the reader of this blog, would say! Well, I said yes. While the argument drifted to another topic, this question remained with me, and I thought that maybe the first problem would be boredom! Later I started imagining what it must be like if I never knew anyone else existed and if I was the only one on an island. It would be such a different world!

The question is complex to answer, though, and requires a more philosophical approach. While I felt I may still have problems because of all the emotions that human beings possess and a simple thorn in my foot could have emerged as a problem, the other side argued that since there would have been no one to share that pain in my foot, probably I would not have seen it as a problem. I may have just pulled it out and moved on. Well, that is something to think about!

The argument was that if we do not have an emotional dependency on other human beings, there would probably be no problems! If you consider carefully, everything we do is either for someone, with someone, because of someone, or because of our emotions about someone. For example, our happiness is usually incomplete without sharing it with someone. When we are happy, we immediately want to share it with people who understand us and would share the sentiment. Similarly, a good meal alone may not feel as good unless one is in the company of one’s liking.

Everything we do is about someone else – be it for their acknowledgment, their response, or their reaction. That does make it all sound shallow and futile! So, since our existence is so dependent on others, it is the foundation of expectations and disappointments and, therefore, the cause of all problems.

To that, I believe since human beings have been blessed with ambition, aspiration, and emotions, even if nothing existed, we could have felt there was a problem depending on our primary disposition and nature. Therefore, there is no perfect way to live life and no way to avoid all the emotions we have been born with. It may be best to be aware of how much we let them control our minds. Disappointments emerge from expectations, and the latter arises from our relationship with ourselves and others. Therefore, being self-aware, realistic, and having some self-control may be a better way to gain balance and sail through life. Well, I know it is easier said than done.

What is your take on this? If you were on an island… I am eager to know.

Kindness Goes a Long Way

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Life can be so overwhelming at times that one feels lost in darkness and uncertainty, terrified of being suddenly pushed into it by circumstances and not knowing how to deal with it!

Presently, I am going through something similar as my soulmate, my mother, is undergoing a health condition requiring all the strength and willpower she and we can gather for recovery. It has been such a heartbreaking and deeply painful experience that I feel I have died several times already. My heart has sunk to my knees a million times with the sense of helplessness that one suffers by seeing a loved one suffer so much! Unfortunately, she has had too many ailments and accidents for a single person to bear in one life. Each time the cycle of her torment, our helplessness, uncertainty, risks, caregiving, and recovery continues. It takes all our energy to recover and continue with life each time! And yet, it seems like life has come to a standstill where you are not doing anything else apart from recovering from one health issue and dealing with another. Life goes on, but the suffering remains constant!

Yet, there are small acts of kindness that help stop your tears from rolling for some time. Kindness in different forms helps you find solace in small things. I am writing this blog as a note of gratitude to all those gestures of kindness that I found to be very impactful in this challenging period for their thoughtfulness and timeliness. They helped in pulling me up from the abyss of hopelessness. A gesture of support by your partner, counseling through gentle conversations, and constant check on your mental and emotional well-being is a precious act of kindness that reminds you, you are not alone.

In mid-December 2022, I traveled by air to reach my mother as early as possible and be with her in her most difficult times. I was distraught, and when the aircraft took flight, one of the air hostesses noticed my mental agony and quietly offered me a glass of water! Her sensitive intervention and kindness helped me recover from a very sorrowful moment.

Often when we have a prolonged illness with unbearable pain, we either seek God’s benevolence, or we are on the brink of losing faith as we feel we have been unfairly served in life, or we choose to be atheist for the moment. In such times, even a small reminder of God helps us realize our place in the world and regain faith. At Max Healthcare, Vaishali, every morning, the hospital used to play two-three devotional songs (bhajans) in the admission ward, reminding the admitted patients of God whom we could trust and seek relief from. It was a very thoughtful thing to do, as it helped everyone in the ward – patients, nurses, staff – pray for an hour and gain mental and emotional strength, a rejuvenated sense of purpose, and hope. A kind gesture for the community from a hospital!

Another one, typical in a few cultures, was the gesture of checking in on the sick. Even though it gets overwhelming for the caregivers to answer the same questions to every relative and friend, it is very kind of people to remember the patient in their prayers and make time to call or visit. Being remembered is a good feeling; when you are ill for an extended period, you start feeling as if you have been forgotten by everyone who used to be around earlier, as if the world has moved on, leaving you behind. Therefore, when in such quiet moments, people remember the sick, the patient feels cared for, wanted, and remembered! I have seen my mother feel better when people in her circle remember her now when she is ill. Every call, message, encouragement, and visit generates a bit of life and color into her!

At work too, when people show their support in gentle ways, cooperate with you for a long term and display patience, knowing well that when life takes a turn, it may take more than a few days to be back on track, that is a gesture of kindness – a much-wanted one when you are the caregiver and cannot step back from your duty at work and home!

These moments and gestures made the recent events bearable for me, and I hope kindness in the world continues and people continue to spread hope and positivity.

Hold That Thought!

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A few months ago I saw the movie, The Founder, from which one sentence has stayed with me to date. It was a long quote, but the last bit said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. Or, as Ralph Waldo Emerson declared, ‘A man is what he thinks about all day long’.”

I wasn’t aware of Emerson’s quote, but when I heard it in the movie, it got me thinking about how meaningful that statement is (a man is what he thinks about all day long)! I can remember so many instances in life where just changing a bit of my thinking, and giving the thoughts a new direction, made a big difference in eventually the way I acted on those thoughts and the impact of those actions. Shaped by everything around me, my thoughts have motivated me to be curious, pursue varied interests, and make important decisions such as career choices.

The quote doesn’t tell us what we don’t know but rather what we tend to forget. In the 1600s, English poet and intellectual John Milton drew our attention to the power of our mind in the most famous of his writings, Paradise Lost, where he wrote, “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” Throughout my childhood, I learnt to admire this powerful line, courtesy of my mother, who made me understand its meaning and reminded me at different times how not to let the mind be a devil’s workshop. The quote from Paradise Lost is similar to a quote attributed to Buddha, “The mind is everything. What you think, you become.”

So, if we are what we think all day long, I wonder how many of us consciously train our mind to be good, to do good, or attain a desired outcome. Probably people who follow their passion are good examples of the lot who put this into practice because they think about their interest all day long (how to pursue it, study it, try and be better at it).

Becoming conscious of my thoughts, I am training my mind into taking life a little easy, and become more focused on how I want to live. I am thinking a lot more about how I can do good at my new job, be positive, and leave a long-lasting impact. And these thoughts keep me motivated to read more, learn more, and work better. While these are the thoughts that keep me going, there are also the ones I have no clue how to deal with, such as aging, unfulfilled travel plans, the books unread, the interests that are yet to be pursued but are on my mind. I can see how constantly thinking about a few things has helped me achieve them as I become more prepared to spend my energy on reaching that goal, so the uneasy ones do not bother me much now.

Is this true for you too? I am keen to learn what you think of this and how you are using the power of your thoughts.

Many Houses, Many Stories

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Recently I read a book titled The Dutch House. I loved it! It reminded me of how important a house’s role and memories play in one’s life. Whenever I shifted, it felt like leaving behind a piece of me or a box of my memories. It is a strange feeling, maybe because the happier the memories, the stronger the nostalgia!

The Dutch House just made me realize how a house is always in the background in some of our most cherished or worst memories. And then it got me thinking of all the fond memories that I have in different houses I have lived in and how they have made my life happier bit by bit. 🙂

The novel revolves around this house that once belonged to a Dutch family, but reading through it reminded me of my childhood home and brought back the vivid memories of this beautiful one-bedroom house in which we used to live. It had a big verandah in the front and a big backyard. I have fond memories of that house from my growing up years there. Times changed, and we demolished the house to make a new one in its place. In my heart, I guess I metaphorically hugged the old house a few times before bidding it goodbye!

I also remember the good moments in the new house, but I do not remember ever feeling like hugging the new one. That’s the difference!

I currently love where I live, but I often think of the old rented house I moved in when I shifted to Bangalore and the beautiful memories I have from the time. However, if my current abode were a person, it and I would have been best friends! 🙂

Are your memories also associated with the houses where you have lived? Do share your thoughts.

Incredible Infosys!

The pyramid building at Infosys, Bangalore

Nostalgia? Yes. Sad? No. Love? Definitely! Those are my emotions in a nutshell as I left Infosys earlier this month after a little over nine years of an enriching experience. It is undoubtedly a unique company and its genuine, kind, intelligent people make it all the more special; as you grow with Infosys, there is no other way but to fall in love with it!

Three things that I will continue to love about Infosys:

1. Powered by Intellect, Driven by Values. This is one of the best corporate taglines I have seen. Still, nothing summarizes Infosys better than this!
2. Once an Infoscion, always an Infoscion. One realizes the power of these words only when one becomes an ex-Infoscion. 🙂
3. People. Infosys is a microcosm with all kinds of people and experiences, and the good ones are always in the majority. 🙂

As I move forward, I must say my journey with Infosys has been fantastic! In this journey, I made lots of friends, traveled through lots of curves and straight roads, and achieved several professional and personal milestones in the scenic landscapes and beautiful infrastructure of Infosys campuses. It is indeed incredible Infosys!

Here’s wishing all my friends and leaders at Infosys a great time ahead. 🙂

Thank you, Infosys!